I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
