I bet he comes in French.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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