So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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