Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
