Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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