okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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