i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
