Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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