Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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