Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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