remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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