Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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