dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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