all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
