he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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