Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We need to get me chipped asap
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
