By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
