i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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