Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
