i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
