I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
