ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
