im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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