Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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