Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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