Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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