Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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