Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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