We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize