Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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