he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
