so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
