I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
