My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
