it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
