I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
