i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
