So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
