we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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