Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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