It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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