It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
