you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
