best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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