Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
