One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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