highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
