im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
