It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
