Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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