Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize