I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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