Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
