One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
