Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
True college students do jello shots in the library
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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