I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i came on her dog
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
