So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize