i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
