You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
