He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize