I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
