They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
